I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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