would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize