I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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