He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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