Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
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