"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
