Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Send help, water and tortillas.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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