She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I checked into jail on foursquare
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
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