Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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