Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
