I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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