I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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