He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
