I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
