My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
i out mim tonsoeep
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