I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize