There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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