I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize