I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
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