So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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