Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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