I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
