so explain again why im purple
no
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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