bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
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