Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
