I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize