You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
