Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
