Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Randomize
