Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
