You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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