It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
