I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
