haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
