im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
