i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I just want to make out with him forever
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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