So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
