i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
