im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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