Kiss
Puke
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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