Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
