You just made me feel so damn special
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
