if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
