Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
