He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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