Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
