you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
