I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
