i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Why did my mother make you get naked?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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