So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
you win again, gameday.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
