We're facebook friends in real life
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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