he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
