Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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