You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
