There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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