Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
So many bounce houses so little time
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize