It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
