my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
You are a booty call, not a friend.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize
