yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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