So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Randomize
