If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
