The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize