went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
