to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
