My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize