i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
