omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
