halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
