U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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