is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize