There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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