it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
