Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
