YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
