He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
